As I continue softening into understanding the Other, I have been comforted to know that there are other women also moving through this process of non-judgment and compassionate presence. Today's article, At the Intersection of Other & Friend, by Kate Brunner at Feminism and Religion, was one of those helpful connections that elicit a feeling of community, even though it is through cyberspace.
A book that I recently finished reading has been good for helping me understand the polarization between mindsets, between people who lean with intensity toward either a liberal or conservative view. One aspect of this is understanding that our beliefs "lean" first through intuition and are then followed by rational thought, and our human tendency is to find supporting evidence for what we already believe or are leaning towards. As Jonathan Haidt says in The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion:
"If thinking is confirmatory rather than exploratory in these dry and easy cases [via various referenced studies], then what chance is there that people will think in an open-minded, exploratory way when self-interest, social identity, and strong emotions make them want or even need to reach a preordained conclusion?"
I think that the first step into open-minded views is by simply knowing ourselves better and being more aware of our own tendencies prior to judging the Other.
Then, imagine ourselves sitting on a porch swing with the Other and really, truly listening to where they have come from and where they are now. Where can we meet?
It's very difficult sometimes to fathom the mindset of those of opposing political views. I realize, however, it's probably just as difficult for them to understand why I believe as I do. Politeness and willingness to listen helps -- as well as realizing that it's doubtful you'll ever convert anyone by mere words.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I'm understanding more and more how vital it is to be able to empathize and truly put myself into the heart and mind of the Other, and with that understanding comes greater opening into belief and intuition. Yes…the "mere words" are rarely ever going to make a difference…to us or anyone else…so we have to meet in heart and community and really connect within commonality *first*...
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