Dearest Dr. E

Red Shoes Dancing!

Those who know me, know how I treasure the words and messages of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Today, in reading her fb page, I noticed two essays I want to share.

The first is:

We all have our moments of seeing in ourselves the thin green stream of bitterness and discontent

What struck me most about this piece was her beautiful humor in comparing "grump" and "grace" - how they cannot exist at the same time.

The second is: 

regarding those who thank me here...

Her remarkable gift for seeing the generosity and radiant energy in others is one I value on so many levels.

I don't want to take away from the incredible art within her words by writing of my impressions, so I invite you to visit the messages yourself, soak in them, and experience the healing.

~ Bright Blessings! ~

Wise One

She gives freely and openly, offering all that She is and has. I move toward the Wise One, Her face the measure of time and compassion, a bit of sadness etched within the lines of love, and yet peace radiates from Her hands and heart. She sees the violence and Her face sags, the skin pulling down upon itself from the weight, yet still She gives abundantly, always willing to embrace errors or anger. I feel no judgment from Her, only a desire to heal the wounds of the world, my wounds. She brings the fires of light and transformation. I move into Her and She welcomes me, we are one, and I see through Her eyes, my heart aching until I feel the light, I connect with Her fully and from above a light descends meeting the light that is growing within, and spreading, until we are One.

But even beyond what I perceive as our Oneness, the light expands in a rainbow, arching over our entire world, bringing color and delight, passion and love, the rainbow never wavering and always there for us to see the tremendous diversity. So many blessings all around us. We don't need to go 'somewhere over the rainbow' but look where we are and the light is here, the love is here. She brings us the rainbow in Her hands, She creates rainbows in our lives each moment. I see my own rainbow, is it full or half or double?! A low arch or high right now? Is it hiding in the mist or blazing across the sky?!

Her wise and wizened visage emerges from the darkness where all is quiet and peaceful, awaiting the return. She is emerging from the grotto. See Her there in Her earthen cloak with the fiery seams and the crystalline embroidery as she floats and shimmers? A cave, a portal, a watery womb of love from whence she comes in guises I can relate to, shifting in and out of form like a leaf twirling in the breeze, only to settle when I am ready to awaken. Then She brings forth the gifts I need, Her wisdom, Her strength of purpose, Her light and passionate love birthed into my being like the lightening zigzagging through my body and soul when we merge and I trust and love and accept for when I open and we become the One we always are and always will be, I am at peace.

She comes from the grave, from the flowers.

She comes from darkest night and sun-filled skies.

I do not fear her when she calls to me from the dark because that is where we wrap ourselves together within a blanket of dreams and endless possibilities. In her cave is where we manifest the shadows of what is to come. Abundance! Anything and everything is already here! She helps me see the gifts are always available.

She is grandmother of grandmothers, giving Her life to me. Again I move to embrace and accept as we dance our cycles together. She is the dark one filled with the light of the Infinite in Her soft smile.

Form is nothing but a doorway into Being.

From the Crone comes rebirth; the Hag lights the way.

______________

Once I finished my stream of consciousness writing upon the image drawn at random, I found the image particularly striking in its synchronicity, because I recognized that She was one of the many faces of Holy Mother, Tara, the Divine Feminine ... offering Herself to me this morning as I sat down to type and realized that I had missed the second part of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes' "Untie The Strong Woman" audio webinar last night! I was so tired last night that I went to bed at 9 o'clock which was when the live presentation was to begin, completely escaping my conscious memory, and yet, on an energy level I apparently connected with Her and the women sitting in Her space (along with CPE), so this morning She made Her presence known to me. I'm so grateful for this clear reminder of how we are all One.

___________

SoulCards® Deborah Koff-Chapin, Center for Touch Drawing

To Be Beautiful As Is

Acceptance of others or Self "as is" is a beautiful practice in and of itself. Only from deep within that acceptance can each of us, if we choose, move toward that which we aspire through specific practice; not accepting first the inherent beauty of "as is" can bring heartache. Some of us are fireflies...others are wildfires...all are stars and beautiful. As Tagore says "the stars are not afraid to appear as fireflies" -- Light/Source are One/Same.

These thoughts were prompted when I read a post by Clarissa Pinkola Estes on fb called "When the mind is present, all else is made easier." What was striking was that I began reading, and nodding my head in agreement, but then I was surprised as I came to a point wherein she said that our culture says our gifts are "good enough as is" and CPE said "I see that cultural trope as wasteful."

The first comment caught me off guard because that has not been my own personal experience or observation in the world; quite the contrary, as I've seen the over-culture hammer into its members repeatedly that no one is "good enough" and that we are pushed and pushed to excel, exceed, be better than others, achieve, succeed, etc. I see children pushed constantly to be competitive and feel not good enough. Those who do not buy into this mentality are themselves seen as less than, or a waste of space.

I feel it is vitally important to realize that each of us, and our gifts however they are expressed, is beautiful "as is."

Where we go from there is is purely a matter of individuality; from acceptance, we can remain in the bliss of "as is" or, if we desire, continue a practice to grow our gifts. But neither is better or wasteful.

To recognize our gifts, accept and embrace our gifts, in love, compassion and peace, sharing this loving contentment with others, is beautiful.

Someone who is driven and passionate may find it curious that another person is content and peaceful in their own nature. With this comes acknowledgement and acceptance of our individuality as manifest in this world; to accept how the elements have blended uniquely within each of us, some having more Fire, others more Earth.

It is not necessary for Earth to struggle to light Fire after Fire against her Nature. Rather, to nurture the spark always there, in its own Light. To bring a Sattvic* quality within, however the Nature has become manifest. That is beautiful - for each of us to find the Sattvic qualities of our own elemental nature.

_______

As I later explored some of my favorite blogs, Ivan at Poetry Chaikhana shared:

This moment

This LOVE
comes to rest in me,
many beings in one being
In one wheat-grain
a thousand sheaf stacks.

Inside the needle’s eye
a turning night of stars.
This moment –
This LOVE.

~ Rumi

I felt like this lovely, brief poem carried within it incredible peace, the "turning night of stars" that reside "inside the needle's eye" settling me from my earlier upset.

____________________

*Sattva, as the light of consciousness, seeks to impart balance through clarity of perception, right action and spiritual purpose. Sattva is balance.

shooting star synchronicity

This synchronicity thing always amazes me. Let me share...

I was so drawn to a passage (quoted below) last week in Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes PhD that I had marked it clearly for future reference. Then, while writing on my new novel yesterday, I needed to depict an alpine flower so I googled and found one that was striking and I was immediately drawn to it. I checked to see if there was already an essence for it in one of the various flower essence lines - yes. And what does it address? Quite similar issues that were triggered for me in the passage I had marked only last week; specifically, I felt that the essence could address and support the sensation of unity we need in order to live in both worlds, not to feel alienated from the “topside life” but to find the balance within for living and loving in both. Love it. Needless to say, I ordered a bottle of the Shooting Star Flower Essence!

_________

CPE is talking about journey and transformation and initiation and says...

“A woman, at this time, is often torn in two directions, for there comes over her an urge to wade into the forest as though it is a river and to swim in the green, to climb to the top of a crag and sit face into the wind. It is a time when an inner clock strikes an hour that forces a woman to have sudden need of a sky to call her own, a tree to throw her arms about, a rock to press her cheek against. Yet she must live her topside life as well.

“It is to her extreme credit that even though she many times wishes to, she does not drive her car into the sunset. At least not permanently. For it is this outer life that exerts the right amount of pressure to take on the underworld tasking. It is better to stay in the world during this time rather than leave it, for the tension is better and tension makes a precious and deeply turned life* that can be made no other way.” (p. 453)

_____________

photo copyright Richard Katz, FES

Personal Rapture

"Insist on a balance between pedestrian responsibility and personal rapture."

~Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Women Who Run With The Wolves

I love that phrase - personal rapture - and all that it implies in living from our heart and soul.

To know our inner depths and be able to freely access that joy.

the enkindling fire

‎"It is important to keep our eyes open and to carefully weigh offers of an easier existence, a trouble-free path, especially if, in exchange, we are asked to surrender our personal creative joy to a cremating fire rather than enkindling one of our own making."

~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves

Reborn

"From her very flesh and blood and from the constant cycles of filing and emptying the red vase in her belly, a woman understands physically, emotionally, and spiritually that zeniths fade and expire, and what is left is reborn in unexpected ways and by inspired means, only to fall back to nothing, and yet be reconceived again in full glory."

~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Women Who Run With the Wolves

I am particularly drawn to this imagery as a way of connecting with my creative Self. We are so hard on our own creations and creativity, aren't we?! Expecting constant manifestation in a form that is gloriously perfect! Yet, understanding natural flow is comforting and reassuring; to know, truly know, that waxing and waning is fine, that birth, death, rebirth are fine and simply express transformation, not an end. To realize that perfection is only perception related via comparison is freeing and transformative in itself!

Balanced in Fullness

I can see full Grandmother Moon through the skylight in my study/studio, brightly glowing, pulling and sending energy, co-mingling with the resonance as we transition from summer to autumn this night of the equinox. These energies infuse an essence as I write...

... more on Sedum Essence

I also just finished listening to the Power of the Crone webinar and the soft, richly lilting tones of Clarissa Pinkola Estes remain in my mind...

~ Bright Blessings ~

Sadhana

Candle lit, softly glowing.

Honoring the essence of healing and love.

Welcoming. Home.

From White Tara chant I felt myself expanding,

lengthening,

growing taller and taller,

like a lotus growing out of the mud,

stretching up high into the ether,

pulsing with energy,

feeling One with All,

losing my little self and knowing only my Self,

floating, tingling.

My voice no longer mine but

a tone, a wave,

purity carried upon the air,

unifying.

A blessed moment that was endless.

Not peace but beyond peace

to where there is no need for peace because everything simply is.

(((may all Beings be free from suffering)))

OM
(amen...and a little woman*)

____________________________

This morning was the first time in a long time that I sat Sadhana fully. What is 'fully' for me? Truly making spacesetting aside at least half an hour, separate from my regular Yoga practice, conscious removal of self and Self from the busy-ness that has been so prominent these past few weeks due to travel. For a more elucidating telling of the transformative hours prior to this Sadhana practice, go to Transformation Transition.

* This is what Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes says in her audio series of "The Dangerous Old Woman" and it has really stuck with me

Do Not Lose Heart We Were Made For These Times

If you haven't already found this essay - or if it has yet to find you - please do read Clarissa Pinkola Estes' Do Not Lose Heart, We Were Made For These Times. An inspiring, heart-warming, and truly beautiful message to us all.

~ Bright Blessings ~

Little Burnt-Face

One of my favorite stories as a child was Little Burnt-Face, read to me from the impressive tome Anthology of Children's Literature by Johnson and Scott (my copy is a bit tattered but it's the original that Mom sent me a few years ago when I asked her if I could keep it with me). Little Burnt-Face is sort of a Native American "Cinderella" story, and probably most cultures have a similar one, but this version always captures my heart - even when I read it now as an adult. I mean, it has magic and nature and a happy ending! In spite of all that her sisters put her through, the girl called Little Burnt-Face persevered and remained true to her Self -- and in the end this brought her happiness, peace, love and a new life.

I thought today of Little Burnt-Face because I'm following Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes' posts on fb, listening to her podcasts, hoping to soon obtain some of her audio programs from SoundsTrue, and eagerly awaiting the publication of her masterwork The Dangerous Old Woman. Her classic Women Who Run With The Wolves changed the lives of many women, and I have no doubt that her new book will do the same. Through the stories Dr. E shares, and how she relates them to our journeys in life, we open to new possibilities, to creativity, to flowering of consciousness - to Self. Dr. E is a scholar, poet, Jungian psychoanalyst, and cantadora (keeper of the old stories in the Latina tradition).