The Child I Was

Feeling tugged and pulled in many directions? That was me! Just when I think that I have set my course and planned the route and started the path -- whoopsiedaisy! LOL What happens? Life! And it's supposed to! It's called Being Present and actually experiencing LIFE. And you know what? I have all the time I need to be and do and experience and live because I chose to be here. I chose to experience this precious birth and all the amazing living - including the exquisite innocence of being the child I was - that happens between that moment and the one of death of this body. Every moment is a world within itself. Each breath is a miracle, flowing into the next and the next, but not in a linear fashion -- when I breathe in, does the air flow straight? No, it moves throughout my entire body! And when I breathe out, does the air go straight then? No, it expands or dissipates into the immense space beyond! Of course, even that perception is one of human limitation because I am air, just as I am earth, water, fire and ether, just as you are and just as everything else is in our world of form. And beyond that, we are all One without separation. But, I'm getting a little off track here. All of this blissfulness (feeling full of bliss!) is because this morning I was journaling about how earlier this year, I was sure that I was going to give my full attention to my writing for a while and really explore the creativity of writing in depth - plunge in, dive deep, explore the murky and the crystal clear expanses of that particular expression of life. That's what I thought. I sought out workshops and books, began using tools to encourage writing on a variety of levels. Then Ayurveda took hold, I thought by chance or maybe divine providence because my passion for it was instantaneous; the more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. Uh-oh. Decision time. Writing or School? Creativity or Study? Expressing or Learning? In which did I have more confidence? So, I started school, and then began feeling the pangs of loss! Where did the time go for my writing?! But, this morning, I was journaling and the full realization warmly enveloped me that I have all the time I need to do both. I don't have to choose because each has its place, and both are immersed in love, healing, creation and bliss. Maybe school is a higher priority at the moment because I'm on a set schedule, but I can still write and create whenever the urge becomes too powerful to resist. And without the experiences of living, where is the inner growth that will power the fires of creativity? And writing/school are only two facets of this magnificent life I live that is lovingly filled with Ron, our companion animals, family, and friends - and the many new friends I'm meeting. Is life awesome or what?! :-)

The child I was at nine years old is smiling and happy this morning; she is being and doing, stretching and growing, and alive. Hug your inner child and help her to dance and live!