Reach Out to Fear

SoulCards(c) Deborah Koff-Chapin

Sometimes I hide myself away, my essence occluded by the darkness. The weight can come heavy upon me like a mudslide, thick and sticky. I hold my hands in defense yet resistance only increases the stagnant energy sucking the life from my marrow. And yet, all around me, I can still sense the clear air and the sea-green foam of Her waves . . . in and out, in and out . . . the rhythm eases into me and I feel myself absorbing, taking Her in, accepting, opening, and through this I feel the darkness recede through the clogged channels and the mud thins, Her cleansing tears washing through me, dissolving the weight of the coagulated earth. A grotto beckons, a luminescence from within, blue and green and gold shimmering within the mirror of Her womb where She waits to cradle my battered soul.


I see Fear inside myself, its dark body cringing and cowering, trying to pull away, to hide from the world, from decisions, from taking risks. Sneaky little devil that slinks around in the mud, or pops out of it from the rising gas and heat and air trapped beneath the surface. And Fear can appear without warning, even in the midst of exciting adventure and opportunity, teasing with its dark secrets of past mistakes or tugging and nagging to beware the doom of the unknown with its "I can't" or "What if" that poke and prod with sharpened stick.


Yet Fear is not to be stuffed down or hidden away or treated with anything less than compassion. Fear is a child of Survival, yet it can grow into knots and become misshapen if we don't soothe it and nourish its soil. Allow Fear to be present, feel it, see it, look at the muddy face hiding behind hands raised to shield itself from "trying" something new or being courageous in the onslaught of someone else's attempts to control. Gently call to Fear as to a wounded animal or child. Softly but firmly wash away the grime from fear's cheeks and begin to reveal the truth. Poor little thing, hiding and cowering, not knowing where to go or how to heal or even the source of its behavior. 


Reach out to Fear with the Light of Compassion . . . 
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A drawn card can elicit memories, inviting me to visit the past as this one did . . . such a precious journey . . .