|SoulCards(c) Deborah Koff-Chapin|
Lost in a whirlpool of emotion that drains, the pressure and twisting causing me to tire, legs becoming heavy, arms like lead weights, feeling as if I have been treading water for ages when only moments have passed. Tears mixing with the floodwaters as I struggle to keep my head above water, choking, and not succumbing to the depths where the unknown waits.
What lies beneath the tossing waves and ferocious winds of the stormy sea?
Do monsters roam the dark intense expanses of the interior biding their time until I sink so that they can swallow me whole and consume me entirely until nothing is left?
Or does She wait with open arms to embrace and absorb my tears and we become One in peace?
Shall I allow myself to give up, to relinquish what I am attached to and face my fears in the depths?
Or do I reach up to grasp the hand stretching toward mine to lift me up and out of the womb into a new life that is unknown but still calls to me, Her voice clear and sweet as the roses upon the gentle breeze?
She softly invites me to gaze inside my Self to see what journey is mine.
Shall I relax and sink into Her, face the monsters, and know that they will transform then into guardians of healing?
Is now the time to face them?
Do I see them for what they are--their huge forms gliding through the water in tremendous grace and power not to instill fear but to carry courage?
If I reach my foot strongly downward, beneath me as one swims by, there see! It is solid and firm, supportive, not scary. My fear made a monster where there was simply the incredible unknown--potential, possibility.
And the unknown above, beyond, outward--what is there?
She shows me that either choice leads to healing and growth in facing my fear and choosing to reach out and touch the unknown with faith.
What makes the oceanic depths seem more frightening than the wide-open sky?
Why fear? For She is the air I breathe, the fiery bright spirit, the living waters of womb and heart, the earth of our bodies and all substance...She is all the space within and without, above and below.
I push through, detach, accept, and all is well, whether reaching below or above.
The seas calm and I lean back, floating, buoyant, one with the undulating of life, and I welcome the unknown swimming all around me for we flow within the same current of Love.