This Dark Whole

SoulCards(c) Deborah Koff-Chapin

A dark center lies within 
where troubled thoughts and birth begin, 
a whole of blackness filled with fear 
that makes me cringe when I draw near 
this certain death of something dear 
or growth of that which causes tears 
yet venture close I have to do 
because within lies altered view 
of world and me, of Self and Soul, 
within the darkness lies the whole. 


Death is waiting with Her skulls of past 
that I must face full on at last 
for hiding does my heart no good, 
leaving cracks of "don't" and "should" 
yet through them also seep the better world 
where I might live and breathe with wings unfurled. 


Gaping wounds run rivulets red, 
the choices made within my head 
I based upon ego thoughts 
and left behind the love She taught 
me in Her wisdom: share and help to be, 
others who depend on me. 
And so I feel the deep dark space 
where envy lies in my disgrace. 
I see it dwelling, squirming there, 
within the heavy darkness bare. 
Blood must flow to cleanse and heal, 
clear and rich, bright and real, 
not to worry or resent the unrevealed 
of what was meant ... to BE. 


A cave within, now transformed 
into a haven given form, 
a safety zone where I reside 
when chaos outward bids me hide. 
Go into the darkness willing, 
take Her hands and know the wonder of Her magic healing
 ... LOVE. 


This dark center can be anything 
I need or see or share with me 
a Truth that offers space for inner work, 
to sit in stillness, darkness, 
and feel the peace descend 
right before the end 
- of anger, fear or pain 
dark whole gives, 
so much to gain 
for Self and Her and All that is. 


Death is birth, 
and shall reverse. 
Perception is what that needs to change 
for life continues in its exchange 
- of energy, love, light.  


This dark whole 
a gift to explore, 
a dark pearl shone, 
an unborn diamond is the coal. 


Open my heart, my eyes, to the gift and the Light comes in, the darkness dissipates, easing away into shadow and then no more - for now. But it will come again because this human existence is natural cycles flowing, growing and then leaving, departing, into darkness. Yet my openness, my heart and love and acceptance are what see Her gifts in the cave, in the healing darkness of Her womb. 


A time of rest is death. 
A time and space of renewal. 


To be born again, I feel the ebb and flow. On the bottom of the ocean, no light can reach into the deepest channels that lead the way to the center, the core, and yet once there, all the heat and light I need is present, waiting. There is always light on the other side of darkness; treasure both, embrace and learn. 


Go into the darkness on my own 
and it will no longer be a threat -- Home.